Could my child be bullying someone else?

Patterns worth checking

• One person repeatedly becomes the target of jokes, pranks, exclusion or blame.
• Your child uses popularity, secrets, age, size, status or a group to control someone.
• Rumours, private messages, images or screenshots are shared to embarrass another person.
• The behaviour continues after someone asks for it to stop.
• Your child minimises the impact by saying the other person is too sensitive or deserved it.
• A school, coach, parent, sibling or peer reports frightening or controlling behaviour.

A useful first conversation

Stay calm and be direct: 'I have been told that these actions happened. I want to understand what occurred, and I also need to be clear that hurting, humiliating or controlling someone is not acceptable.'

Ask for their account without turning the conversation into a trial. Separate explanations from excuses, name the impact and explain what will change immediately.

Build an accountability and support plan

• Set clear behaviour boundaries and appropriate supervision.
• Remove harmful posts or content where safe and lawful, after evidence is preserved.
• Use proportionate consequences connected to the behaviour.
• Ask the school about social-emotional, learning, peer or wellbeing needs.
• Support empathy, emotional regulation and respectful online behaviour.
• Set a review date and check that the behaviour has actually stopped.

Keep everyone safe

Do not contact the harmed child directly, demand an apology meeting or ask them to prove forgiveness. Any restorative process should be voluntary, professionally supported and considered safe by the young person who was harmed.