Social & relational
Repeated exclusion, ghosting, silent treatment, friendship ultimatums, rumour-spreading, public embarrassment or pressuring a group to turn on someone.
For families, educators, carers and young people in Australia
Bullying is not always bruises or name-calling. It can look like a joke, a friendship problem, a group chat, a rumour or a child who suddenly becomes “fine” and very quiet.
Reviewed against Australian sources · 9 August 2026
Immediate danger or risk of self-harm
If they are talking about suicide or cannot stay safe, do not leave them alone. You can also go to the nearest emergency department. Police Assistance is for non-urgent police help; use 000 for danger now. For urgent online abuse, preserve lawful evidence and use the eSafety reporting pathway.
The first 24 hours
Thank them for telling you. Stay calm. Do not interrogate, blame or rush into solutions.
Ask about threats, injuries, sexual harm, extortion, self-harm and whether school feels safe tomorrow.
Write dates and exact words. Save screenshots, URLs and usernames before blocking or deleting.
Agree on one safe adult, contact the school in writing and set a date to review what changes.
Recognise the pattern
The Australian definition describes bullying as repeated, intentional use of power or status to harm, upset or intimidate. It can be physical, verbal, social or online, and it can be obvious or hidden.
Read the national definition at Bullying No WayWhat it can look like
Look for repeated behaviour, an imbalance of power and impact — not just whether someone says it was “only a joke”.
Repeated exclusion, ghosting, silent treatment, friendship ultimatums, rumour-spreading, public embarrassment or pressuring a group to turn on someone.
Insults, threats, humiliating nicknames, intimidation, cruel imitation, constant criticism or comments designed to make someone doubt themselves.
Hitting, shoving, blocking a path, unwanted touching, damaging or hiding belongings, taking food or money, or repeated rough “jokes”.
Group-chat pile-ons, fake accounts, impersonation, doxxing, exclusion from chats, hostile gaming behaviour, edited images, memes, deepfakes or sharing private messages.
Targeting race, culture, religion, disability, neurodivergence, sex, sexuality, gender identity, appearance, family, health or socioeconomic circumstances.
Sexual comments, rumours, gestures, pressure, unwanted contact, rating bodies, sharing or threatening to share intimate images, or using AI to create sexualised images.
Using secrets, status, size, popularity or threats to demand money, homework, passwords, images, favours or silence — including sextortion and blackmail.
Liking, forwarding, filming, laughing, voting in cruel polls, encouraging a fight or repeatedly staying silent while one person is targeted.
Notice change, not just injuries
No single sign proves bullying. A cluster of changes — especially sudden ones — deserves a gentle check-in.
Two private parent check-ins
These reflections are not validated screening tools and cannot prove what is happening. They are a calm starting point for conversation, safety checks and gathering facts. Answers are not saved or sent.
Could my child be experiencing bullying?
Think about the last four to six weeks. Answer from what you have seen or been told. A serious one-off incident can still need urgent action even if it is not repeated bullying.
Could my child be using bullying behaviour?
Children are more than their worst behaviour. This check does not diagnose or label a young person as “a bully”. It helps identify conduct that may need a clear boundary, school support and safe repair.
Approach both sides safely
It can escalate conflict, frighten a young person, expose private information and complicate the school response. Contact the school, club or organisation. If you witness immediate danger, get a responsible adult or emergency help and intervene only to the extent it is safe.
For teenagers and young people
You can report something happening to you or to someone else. You are not “snitching”; you are helping an adult understand a safety problem. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000 or get a trusted adult now.
Move near a trusted adult or friend. Do not meet the person alone or reply to threats to prove anything.
Record when, where, what happened, who was there and what may happen next. Save lawful screenshots before blocking — never save or forward sexual images of a person under 18.
Use your school’s form, wellbeing team, counsellor, trusted teacher or anonymous tool if it has one. You can ask what will stay private before you share details.
If nothing changes, tell another safe adult, the principal, your school authority or a support service. Keep the report number or a screenshot showing when you asked for help.
“I need to report something that is happening to me. I would like my name kept private and not shared with other students unless someone is in immediate danger. The behaviour happened on [date/time] at [place/platform]. This is what happened: [facts]. I am worried about [safety/retaliation]. The safest way to contact me is [method].”
Anonymous, confidential or identified?
There is no single anonymous national bullying form for every Australian school. Anonymous means you do not give your name. Confidential means a service knows who you are but limits who is told. If someone may be in danger, an adult or counsellor may need to share enough information to protect them.
Look for an online form, wellbeing email, reporting box, student portal or a private conversation with a trusted staff member.
Ask: “Can I report without my name, and who will see this?”Stymie sends encrypted anonymous notifications to authorised staff, but it only works if your school or organisation subscribes.
Check whether your school uses StymieFree, private and confidential counselling for ages 5–25. You can remain anonymous. It supports you but does not replace a school or police report.
Call 1800 55 1800Use webchatFor serious cyberbullying of an Australian child, report to the platform first. An eSafety complaint is not anonymous.
Report serious cyberbullyingUse this only when violence, threats, stalking, extortion, sexual harm or another possible crime is involved. It is not a general bullying service.
Report crime informationCall 000 if someone is in immediate danger. For non-urgent police assistance, call 131 444.
Call 000Police Assistance 131 444Use one of the real reporting paths above. Even with an anonymous tool, details in the report may reveal who was present, so share only what is needed for safety. Never promise another young person absolute secrecy; say you will involve a safe adult if someone could be harmed.
For teachers, carers and trusted adults
You do not need to solve everything in the first conversation. Make the young person safe, listen without judgement, record what was said and connect the concern to the right people and process.
“Thank you for telling me. I will take this seriously. I cannot promise to keep danger secret, but I will only tell people who need to help, and I will explain what happens next.”
The first response
Move away from peers. Check whether there is danger now, a credible threat, injury, sexual harm or risk of self-harm.
Thank them for telling you. Take the concern seriously, avoid minimising it and let them use their own words.
Do not promise secrecy. Explain that you will only involve people who need to help keep them or someone else safe.
Write the date, context, observations and exact words. Avoid repeated questioning or asking the young person to retell it to several adults.
Use your organisation’s bullying and safeguarding procedures. If abuse, neglect or serious danger may be involved, follow the law for your role and location.
Name the safe contact, protective action and review date. Check for retaliation and whether the young person actually feels safer.
Know your role
Follow the school’s bullying, behaviour, complaints and child-safety procedures. Notify the designated safeguarding, wellbeing or senior staff member when required, preserve school records and plan for class, break, transport and online-related safety.
Follow the care plan and supervising agency’s process. Involve the caseworker or authorised decision-maker where required, check who can speak with the school, and share only the care information needed to keep the young person safe.
Use your organisation’s safeguarding procedure and contact its child-safety lead. Change supervision, transport, change-room or online-group arrangements immediately when needed; do not wait for a formal finding before reducing a clear risk.
Help the young person choose a safe parent, carer, school contact or service. Do not contact the person accused or try to mediate. If the home adult may be involved in harm, use an official child-safety or police pathway instead.
Bullying or a child-safety report?
Bullying does not automatically meet a child-protection threshold. It still needs a documented safety and wellbeing response. Abuse, neglect, sexual harm or serious danger may also trigger separate reporting duties.
Use this for immediate danger, serious injury, a credible threat, weapon or urgent suicide risk.
Call Triple ZeroFollow your workplace policy and the reporting law for your state or territory, profession and role. Record the action and report reference.
Find the official reporting serviceRecord the concern, reduce immediate risk, follow the organisation’s response process, support the young person and set a review date.
Responding to a school reportMandatory-reporting rules are not identical across Australia. Who must report, what must be reported, the threshold and the agency differ by jurisdiction. Check the current rules for your role; this page is general information, not role-specific legal advice. Compare state and territory requirements.
Do
Avoid
Online harm
Preserve lawful screenshots, URLs, account names and platform report numbers. Help report to the service first and use eSafety for serious cyberbullying that remains unresolved. Never save or forward sexual images of a person under 18.
eSafety advice for educators and schoolsCare, consent and privacy
Check who has authority to receive information, communicate with the school and consent to support. For a child in care, involve the caseworker or supervising agency as the care arrangements require. Never reveal the young person’s care status or history to peers or other families unnecessarily.
Ready-to-copy records
Adapt these to your policy and record-keeping system. Do not email sensitive information when your organisation requires a protected child-safety channel.
For staff reporting to a safeguarding lead, wellbeing lead, principal or manager. Follow your organisation’s required form if it has one.
Subject: ACTION REQUIRED — safety concern for [YOUNG PERSON / STUDENT], [DATE] Young person: [NAME / ID / YEAR OR GROUP] Date, time and place of disclosure or observation: [DETAILS] What the young person said [RECORD THEIR EXACT WORDS WHERE POSSIBLE. DO NOT ADD A DIAGNOSIS OR CONCLUSION.] What I directly observed [FACTS ONLY — INJURY, DISTRESS, MESSAGES SEEN, LOCATION, PEOPLE PRESENT] Immediate safety check • Danger or credible threat now: [YES / NO / UNCLEAR — DETAILS] • Injury, sexual harm, extortion, stalking or weapon concern: [DETAILS] • Self-harm or suicide concern: [DETAILS] • Risk of retaliation or unsafe return to class, home or activity: [DETAILS] Actions already taken • [MOVED TO SAFE PLACE / FIRST AID / CALLED 000 / CONTACTED AUTHORISED ADULT] • Lawful evidence or relevant records preserved: [DETAILS] Young person’s wishes and privacy concerns [WHAT THEY WANT TO HAPPEN, WHO THEY FEEL SAFE WITH, FEAR OF RETALIATION] People notified and time • [SAFEGUARDING / WELLBEING / PRINCIPAL / MANAGER]: [TIME] • [PARENT, CARER, CASEWORKER OR AGENCY — IF AUTHORISED AND SAFE]: [TIME] • [CHILD PROTECTION / POLICE / OTHER]: [REFERENCE AND TIME] Immediate protection and next review • Named safe adult: [NAME] • Protective steps: [DETAILS] • Next update or review: [DATE / TIME] Recorded by: [NAME / ROLE / CONTACT]
Make the invisible visible
Facts help a school see pattern, power, impact and risk. Entries are stored only in this browser on this device — they are not sent to Stand Beside Them.
Add the first event above. You can edit, delete, print or download your entries later.
Working with the school
Use factual language: what happened, how often, the power imbalance, the impact and the risk. Ask for actions, owners and dates in writing.
Physical and psychological safety, threats, retaliation, high-risk locations and online reach.
A named adult, safe reporting method, supervision and separation that does not punish the harmed child.
The applicable bullying, behaviour, child-safety, discrimination and complaints procedures.
Who contacts you, when the first update will arrive and the date the plan will be reviewed.
Counselling, attendance support, reasonable adjustments and help catching up without stigma.
How staff will tell whether harm has stopped across class, breaks, transport, activities and online spaces.
A school may be unable to tell you another student’s statements, diagnosis or discipline. It can still explain the process, the protections and support for your child, your contact person, review dates and whether the plan is working.
If it does not stop
Ask for the response and safety plan in writing.
Use the school complaints procedure and attach your incident record.
Government: department or regional office. Catholic: diocesan/system authority. Independent: board or proprietor pathway.
Depending on the issue: Ombudsman, school regulator, anti-discrimination body, Australian Human Rights Commission, eSafety or police.
Australian law, in plain English
There is no single Australian anti-bullying Act covering every incident. Responsibilities come from duty of care, discrimination and child-safety law, criminal law, education law and binding sector policies. The exact position depends on the facts, state or territory and school sector.
School staff generally owe students a duty to take reasonable steps to reduce reasonably foreseeable physical and psychological harm. It is a duty to act reasonably — not a guarantee that no incident will ever happen.
Government duty-of-care explanationAustralian schools are required to have a bullying policy. State, territory and sector policies set the response process. Ask for the current public version and the complaints pathway.
National policy and legislation guideFederal and state or territory laws can apply when treatment is connected to disability, race, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, intersex status or other protected attributes. Coverage and exceptions vary.
Australian Human Rights CommissionThe Disability Discrimination Act and Disability Standards for Education give students with disability rights to access and participate on the same basis, reasonable adjustments, support and protection from disability harassment and victimisation.
Disability Standards informationSexual harassment in education can be unlawful under the Sex Discrimination Act. Sexual assault, stalking, threats and some intimate-image conduct may also be criminal matters.
Sex Discrimination Act 1984Under the Online Safety Act, eSafety can investigate serious cyberbullying targeting an Australian child. Report to the platform first; if it has not helped after 48 hours, report to eSafety. Image-based abuse can be reported directly.
eSafety reporting stepsA policy failure is not automatically a legal breach, and legal liability depends on evidence and circumstances. For advice about a specific case, contact a community legal centre, Legal Aid in your state or territory, or a qualified lawyer.
Find the right school pathway
These links are official government-school resources. Catholic and independent schools use their own authority or governing-body complaint process.
For NSW public schools, start with the teacher/year adviser, then the principal. The Department’s feedback pathway can be used if the concern remains unresolved.
Teacher or year adviser → principal → state or territory education department / regional office → external review where available.
School complaints procedure → principal → diocesan or Catholic education authority → regulator or external review where applicable.
School complaints procedure → principal → governing body, board or proprietor → state or territory non-government school regulator where applicable.
If the concern is about the principal, staff misconduct, child abuse or you do not feel safe contacting the school first, go directly to the school authority, department, regulator, child-protection service or police as appropriate.
Copy, personalise, send
Replace every bracketed section. Keep the email factual and attach evidence separately. Avoid naming other children in the subject line.
Use when you are contacting the teacher, year adviser or wellbeing lead for the first time.
Dear [NAME / ROLE], I am writing about repeated harmful behaviour affecting my child, [CHILD’S NAME], who is in [YEAR / CLASS]. What has happened • [DATE, TIME AND PLACE / ONLINE PLATFORM] • [DESCRIBE THE EXACT WORDS OR ACTIONS — avoid labels or guesses] • [HOW OFTEN IT HAS HAPPENED AND WHO MAY HAVE SEEN IT] Impact on my child • [FEAR, DISTRESS, INJURY, SCHOOL AVOIDANCE, SLEEP, LEARNING OR OTHER IMPACT] Evidence available • [SCREENSHOTS, MESSAGES, PHOTOS, INCIDENT LOG OR WITNESS DETAILS] My immediate safety concerns are: [DETAILS, OR “none known at present”]. Please: 1. confirm receipt of this email; 2. assess the immediate physical and psychological safety risk; 3. tell us what protective steps will begin now; 4. nominate one staff contact for my child and our family; 5. explain the school policy and process that will be followed; and 6. make reasonable efforts to initiate a response within two school days, consistent with the National Framework expectation, with a date for follow-up. We understand privacy may limit what the school can tell us about another student. We are asking for clear information about the steps protecting our child, the support available and how effectiveness will be monitored. Could we meet or speak by [PROPOSED DATE / TIME]? Kind regards, [PARENT / CARER NAME] [PHONE] [EMAIL]
When it happens online
Collect lawful evidence first. Capture usernames, URLs, dates, full context and the platform report number.
Report to the service or platform. This is required before eSafety investigates cyberbullying.
Block or mute after evidence is safe. Move screenshots to a separate folder so your child does not keep seeing them.
Report serious unresolved harm to eSafety. If the platform has not helped after 48 hours, a parent can report for their child.
Trusted Australian support
Free, private and confidential phone and web counselling for ages 5–25.
1800 55 1800Webchat and supportCrisis support for young people, parents and carers.
13 11 14Chat or text supportFree mental-health support for young people and their families, 3 pm–10 pm local time.
1800 650 890Online and phone supportEvidence guidance and reporting for serious cyberbullying, image-based abuse and illegal content.
Report online harmNational information for families, students and schools about prevention and response.
Visit Bullying No WayInformation and free complaint handling for discrimination covered by federal law.
Check or make a complainteSafety provides videos and easy-to-read online-safety sheets in English, Arabic, Chinese, Dari, Tamil and Vietnamese. NSW also publishes translated anti-bullying information for parents and carers.
eSafety family resources in more languagesTranslated parent anti-bullying informationFor help speaking with a government service, call the Translating and Interpreting Service on 13 14 50.
Why you can rely on this guide
Stand Beside Them is an independent educational resource for Australian families. It is not a school, government agency, counselling service or reporting body.
Questionnaire answers are not saved. Incident-log entries stay in this browser on this device and are not sent to us. Clearing browser data may delete them.
Core claims link to official Australian government, legislation and established support services. Links and guidance were reviewed on 9 August 2026.